"Well, you tried it just for once, found it all right for kicks.
But now you found out that it's a habit that sticks,
and you're an orgasm addict." – The Buzzcocks

The new movie Choke, adapted from the Chuck Palahniuk novel, is about a sex addict (Sam Rockwell) who, in one element of the plot, hooks up with other sex addicts who attend the same Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings as him. Ah, the irony. The same thing happened to Sam Malone on Cheers, if I'm not mistaken, which makes the joke around 20 years old. Yet, despite that fact, sexual addiction as a term and a (non-DSM-recognized) medical problem seem fairly new to cinema.

Sure, there have been sex addicts in films for many decades, but they were more likely to be described as nymphomaniacs, lechers or typical men. Think of Dorothy Malone in Written on the Wind, a number of the female characters created by Tennessee Williams and certainly the locked up nymphos in Shock Corridor. In the past few years, however, there have been a slew of actual "sexaholics," both male and female, though some aren't exactly referred to in such a manner.

Do you remember a George Clooney project, green-lit in May, Men Who Stare at Goats?
Not only does it boast the coolest title in the world, but it's racking up a cast of equal greatness. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey, and Jeff Bridges are joining Clooney, under Grant Heslov's direction.

The film is based on Jon Ronson's book of the same title, and follows his investigation into the secret wing of the U.S. First Earth Battalion, a paranormal research unit created in 1978. Its goal was to create "Warrior Monks," supersoldiers who could do all sorts of comic-booky things like walk through walls, become invisible, read minds, and kill creatures by staring at them long enough. One soldier in Ronson's book claims he killed a hamster and a goat doing just that.

The adaptation is already switching things around a bit -- it's set in Iraq (where some of the supersoldiers have been reportedly deployed), and McGregor will be playing a stand-in for Ronson named Bob Wilton. He's desperate for a story, and stumbles upon the craziest one of a lifetime when he meets Lyn Cassady, played by Clooney, who claims to be a secret psychic soldier, reactivated after 9/11. As they travel through Iraq, investigating the story, they meet Bill Django, played by Bridges, who is the founder of the program and Cassady's mentor. Spacey will play Larry Hooper, another former psychic who is running a prison camp in Iraq.

While the topic of psychic supersoldiers seems to lend itself to comedy, Iraq and prison camps don't, so who knows what tone this will strike. Every actor in this can switch effortlessly from dramatic to quirky -- it's going to be a treat seeing them all in one film. Especially one with psychics and goat murders.

When the worlds of Washington, DC political intrigue, infidelity, fitness centers and internet dating intersect and collide in a darkly hilarious fashion, you must be watching a film by the Coen brothers. Burn After Reading, Joel and Ethan Coen's follow-up to last year's critically lauded award winner, No Country for Old Men, was actually written by the duo as they were adapting No Country, but the two films couldn't be more different.

The colliding worlds in Burn After Reading involve a CIA analyst named Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich), who's summoned to a top-secret meeting only to find out that the secret is he's being demoted due to his drinking problem. Cox blows a gasket and quits rather than taking the demotion, planning to spend his new-found spare time working on his memoirs and refining his drinking. Cox is married to Katie (Tilda Swinton), a icy pediatrician with the worst bedside manner imaginable, and she's less than sympathetic to her husband's life crisis.

Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game you won't want to burn after reading ... because, well, how could you win any prizes then? Last week we asked you to give us your best college-esque caption for a photo from the new comedy College. In return for your brilliance, we were shelling out a one-of-a-kind beer pong table. Sweeet! Only one winner this week, so congrats to John R. for his inspiring take on a classic tale ...



1. "Unfortunately, try as he might, Peter just couldn't find his way back into Narnia" -- John R.

See full image and all captions






This week, we're shacking up with our old Oscar-winning pals Joel and Ethan Coen as they get ready to unveil their latest darkly comedic crime caper, Burn After Reading, starring folks like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich and Frances McDormand. Prizes? Oh yeah, check it: One Grand Prize winner will receive one Burn After Reading USB 2.0, one T-shirt, one Water Bottle and two Wrist Bands. Wait, there's more! Four first prize winners will each receive one T-shirt, one Water Bottle, and two Wrist Bands. Sound off below!



Read the official rules for this contest

Burn After Reading, the latest from the Coen Brothers, makes its North American debut this year, following last year's rapturous Toronto reception for the Oscar-winning success of the tense, terse No Country for Old Men. After making No Country for Old Men, in perverse Coen-logic, the timing is clearly right for a messy, mean-spirited, profane punchy comedy. Burn After Reading is built around a classic Coen plot -- there's a valuable something out there, and various ill-equipped, dimwitted people see it as the answer to all their problems -- and the pleasure of seeing the big ensemble cast bite down hard on small parts until the juice drips down their chin is dry, funny and rich. (Brad Pitt's work alone as a fitness trainer whose I.Q. is as immeasurably low as his body-fat percentage is, bluntly, inanely great -- full of verve and conviction, and deeply funny.)

The Coens make movies about desire -- the stuff of drama -- but they often choose to make them about idiocy -- the stuff of comedy -- as well; as various characters around Washington, D.C. pursue, posses or hope to profit from a lost CD of data that an ex-CIA man (John Malkovich, fussy and hilarious) has misplaced, the plot's in part just a canvas for Coen-syle, carefully-timed punchlines and comedy so dry it'll leave your lips chapped. There's also some great inside-baseball movie-joke stuff about the cliches of every techno-thriller -- the Taiko-drum scores, the lower-left-of-the-screen-type establishing place and time, the moody shots of shadowy figures who may or may not be following our heroes -- that work in a smart, sideways fashion, too. And every actor in Burn After Reading is playing someone having some kind of mid-to-late-life freakout, grabbing at chances to be happy, and failing while flailing and spitting out four-letter words as they go down; Kim will have her full review up later, but we laughed. A lot.

There may not be much footage that we haven't already seen in either the original red-band trailer or the international teaser for the Coen brothers' Burn After Reading, but I noted enough bits and pieces to feel these two new videos worthy of sharing. Plus, for those of you who have a preference, George or Brad, you now have a trailer that fits you best. Personally, I'm hoping that the ladies, Frances McDormand and Tilda Swinton, get their own character-centric trailers. And while Focus Features is at it, how about individual spots for John Malkovich? Heck, give Richard Jenkins, J.K. Simmons and David Rasche each their own, too. I'm that excited about this movie that I want more, more, more.

Fortunately, we've only got about a month until Burn After Reading opens on September 12.

The consensus I've gotten from people after they've seen the red-band trailer for the Coen brothers' Burn After Reading is that nobody understands what it's about, and nobody cares, because everybody thinks it looks awesome. Well, if you thought that trailer was confusing, or at least lacking in plot synopsis, just imagine how moviegoers outside the U.S. feel after seeing this new international trailer.

As you can see, marketing to international audiences is more about selling the stars. Hence the CLOONEY, the McDORMAND, the MALKOVICH, the SWINTON and the PITT titles. As for story, there's even less revealed here than in the red-band trailer. In fact, it's almost a joke how little is said about the movie. Each actor/character maybe gets to slip in one or two words, which actually just serve as response to more intertitles telling us about the other major stars of the film: the Coens.

After the gut-wrenching terror of No Country for Old Men (I haven't been that tense in a movie theater since, well, ever), I can safely say that I am incredibly relieved that the Coens' next film, Burn After Reading, looks like it is going to be a lot more fun. First Showing now has some stills from the Coens' black comedy, and it would appear that the brothers are returning to what I like to call their 'Raising Arizona roots.'

Burn is the story of a CIA agent (played by George Clooney) who is assigned to investigate the case of a former agent named Ozzie Cox (John Malkovich) who has taken his revenge on the agency by writing a tell-all memoir. When Cox's ex-wife (played by Tilda Swinton) steals the only copy and leaves it behind at her gym, the gym's owner (Frances McDormand) and star personal trainer (Brad Pitt) see an opportunity to engage in a little blackmail.

The Coen flick just got the nod to open the Venice Film Festival this year, but Burn will not be making an appearance at Cannes this year (which is a little strange considering the luck they had at the French festival last year). This makes it zero for two for Pitt now that his other high-profile film, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, also failed to make the list for Cannes. Burn After Reading is scheduled for wide release on September 12th, 2008.

No sooner do I write an adulatory post about George Clooney than I come upon this story about the trouble he's been having with the Writers' Guild of America over credit for the Leatherheads screenplay. He's so upset at the way he's been treated that he's gone "financial core" at the Guild, which is an irreversible decision making him a limited, non-voting, dues-paying member. He says he would have quit altogether, but that would have basically prevented him from working as a screenwriter in Hollywood.

According to Clooney, the original Leatherheads script by Duncan Brantley and Rick Reilly had been bouncing around for almost two decades before he took it, rewrote it as a screwball comedy, and got the project greenlit. He believes that he wrote all but two scenes of the resulting film. But when the credit squabble went to arbitration before the WGA last fall, the guild determined that Clooney didn't deserve screen credit for his work. That was the end of the line for him (he declined to appeal), though he kept the matter quiet at the time because of the ongoing writers strike.